The Telegraph
By Alexi Duggins1 day ago
There’s a restaurant in Knightsbridge where the plates have nipples.
Kyoto Nights, a new "naked sushi experience" at Pan-Asian resto-bar Buddha Bar draws its inspiration from Nyotaimori – the ancient Japanese art of scoffing raw fish from nudey ladies. Then it plonks a few dozen sushi rolls onto plastic leaves laid upon the bellies, shins and thighs of one man and two women and charges punters to pluck them from their naked bodies.
Except, they’re not actually naked. The female food trays use diamante nipple covers to protect their pointy parts and all three are clad in weird floral nappies. Which, given the curious vagina-like orchid nestling between their thighs, is probably not the most flattering garment for the man plate.
"Yeah, this is one of the more bizarre gigs I’ve done," explains Shane, the manliest of tonight’s serving dishes – and professional model in his dayjob – as giggling guests snap selfies whilst gobbling from near his crotch. "Shane!", yells a grumpy looking man in a suit, shirt open at the neck like a member of the Cameron government. "Your right thigh tastes extraordinary! God, you’re sweet Shane!"
As guests dig in, the human beings they’re using as crockery chatter responses to their questions. "No, it’s not cold, but the leaves are a bit wet". "The other model looks like me? Yeah, she’s my twin sister". And "Eat it? No I’m actually a veggie: I don’t touch meat or fish," explains one, in direct contradiction of the evidence.
In general, the sushi is delicious. Springy salmon nigiri, pre-laden with punchy wasabi. Sesame-seed studded maki rolls with squidgy tuna centres. But the selection of lukewarm sashimi slices that have been warmed to room temperature by the models’ skin? Not so much. "What… What is that?" asks one of the models as she rubs at her skin. Under her finger is a greasy smear of sashimi liquid.
At 9.30pm, it’s all over. A lady in a ball gown sweeps in, hisses "You alright, babes?", swaddles the women in robes, plucks the leaves away and leads them to a back room. "God, I’ve just eaten sushi off two naked twins!" exclaims one happy customer. "I don’t even know how to put that in a Facebook status update." And with that, the evening is done.
Until an easy-listening version of ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears cranks up and the two female models strut back in wearing cats’ ears and fishnet leather onesies. They strip to thongs and bounce their bumcheeks in time to the music while pouring milk over each other. Then as their burlesque performance finishes, the night actually ends. And when you think about it, this is an utterly ingenious way to bring things to a close. After all, you don’t just finish with a show. It’s also a sneaky way to wash off the fish smell.
buddhabarlondon.com,145 Knightsbridge, London SW1X 7PA, 020 3667 5222
〔駐歐洲特派記者胡蕙寧／倫敦報導〕人體壽司風也吹進倫敦，一家名為佛陀吧（Buddha Bar）的泛亞洲餐廳，由日本古代在裸女身上取食生魚片的「女體盛（Nyotaimori）」藝術靈感所激發，推出「京都之夜」的全新「裸體壽司體驗」，讓客人在「人體壽司盤上」取食拍照。擔任人體「壽司盤」的一男兩女都身材姣好，只在重要部位鋪上塑膠葉跟花圈遮掩，腹部到大腿都有壽司和生魚片供人取用。
《每日電訊報》美食專家拜訪了這家店，報導說男體壽司盤是由日間從事模特兒的尚恩擔任，他承認這是他做過「最離奇的演出」之一。客人來取食無不咯咯笑，一邊從他的胯下拿食物，一邊還要自拍。一位穿著西裝、像是政府官員的男士還調皮地大喊︰「尚恩！你的右大腿味道真特別！天，你真甜美！」
人體壽司盤的另一特點就是可以對話。饕客取食時也不斷問問題，就聽到這位男模耐心回答「不，不會冷，只是這些葉子有點濕」、「另外一位模特兒像我？是啊，她是我的雙胞胎姊妹」、「吃它？喔不，我是素食者，不碰肉或魚」。
這份工作不僅要平躺、回答問題，壽司等食物流出來的油脂，有時候還會讓「壽司盤」忍不住要伸手去抓癢。
一位身穿禮服的女士走進來，為模特兒批上外袍，摘下身上的葉子，將他們帶進房間。但模特兒的表演尚未結束，他們再度出場，穿著漁網衣、戴著貓耳朵的打扮，在布蘭妮的歌聲中互潑牛奶。倫敦食評開玩笑說，其實潑牛奶是個不錯的主意，不但將這個夜晚以潑秀總結，還可以一併將身上的魚腥味洗掉。
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